Let's Have Dinner
by AliseQuerry
Summary: John/Irene. Miss Adler invites John to dinner, and he is determinded to impress. But what will he wear? What will she wear? And most importantly, what gift could he possibly give to this Domonatrix?


"Sherlock!" a short man in a black suit spilled into the chaotic living room "I need you help!"

His sandy brown hair had been roughly dried and then combed awkwardly. His suit was expensive and stiff due to the fact this was the first time he was wearing it, and his expression was of an enormous amount of worry.

The figure on the crumbling coach peacefully lay. He flicked open his wide icy blue eyes and without glancing at the second man said "Don't wear that tie, John, Irene will be most likely wearing blue"

John scrambled to pull off the bright brown noose, thinking of how the colour would clash. He threw the mangled material to the ground and groaned while raking his hair with his fingers.

"Sherlock, this is a disaster!" John exclaimed while furiously twisting a different tie, this time blue, around his neck "I never should have agreed to this bloody date! I have absolutely no idea what to wear, and you're just sitting there meditating or something else just as useless"

The man with dark, coiling hair smiled faintly "I was simply contemplating why, when dating a manipulating criminal, you highest concern is what your wearing. Irene is a dominatrix; you won't be clothed for long"

"Sherlock!" John cried. He had enough to worry about without thoughts of sex coming into play.

"I was also wondering" Sherlock continued, taking his time "What would be an appropriate gift for a first date with Miss Adler"

John's eyes widened to the size of saucers "Shit"

He had completely forgotten a gift, and Irene would be the type of woman who expected one. And John wasn't going to let her down yet.

His mind flung itself at the cliché "Flowers?" he wondered aloud, then hastily corrected it. There was no way the Irene Adler would accept a bunch of roses.

Chocolate? Stupid idea, she would be offended by the mundane gesture.

Jewellery? No, she already had lots of that.

A soft toy? Okay, now he was getting desperate.

In frustration John paced the room, his forehead creased in anger. His mind sprinting to find a solution, any type of gift that would be worthy. Finally he stopped and turned to Sherlock who was enjoying his friend's pain.

"What about a whip?" Sherlock mused with his fingers at his lips

And to his surprise John stopped and considered it "Yes, that could work..."

"Until you take into account the fact she already owns one"

John frowned at Sherlock. A mix of curiosity and jealousy crept into him. "How would you know that?"

This time Sherlock swung his feet to the ground in order to sit up "Because" he reasoned regarding John "she whipped me with one the first time we met, and then drugged me. I didn't give up her phone. You do remember, don't you?"

John was quiet for moment, and then awkwardly cleared his throat "Um, any other ideas?"

"I deduce that you would reason that a sleeping agent isn't appropriate" Sherlock said while flicking himself back onto that coach.

"No, your right about that" John slumped down into a sofa and sighed "Thank you Sherlock, you're a terrific help" he raised his fingers to his forehead "um, Irene is smart so she could use a... calculator" his face wrinkled itself into a state of dismay "It was a stupid idea, just the thought of me being worthy of dinner with Irene Adler. What was I thinking?"

"Get her some clothes. I already know her as of the last time we met"

"You mean when she walked into the room naked and..." John frowned slightly and then slowly grinned leaping from his chair to his feet

"I've got it!" he cried and quickly embarrassed a startled Sherlock and then sprinted on the door with the moon on his face.

/

Irene coolly regarded her date from access the candle lit table. She was wearing a blue silk dress that was barely legal and matched John's tie.

Courtesy of Sherlock Holmes, she thought.

A small gift was slid across the table, Irene expected as much, probably jewellery or something else boring and dull. She picked it up lightly, the object inside fell material like.

"A scarf?" she wondered aloud and surprising John's face gave nothing away. She slid the lid off and laying there folded in a green dye was; a napkin.

"Enchase you need something to wear" John said simply.

Irene's lips spread into gorgeous smile displaying her perfect teeth "Definitely the new sexy"


End file.
